put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
