You just made me feel so damn special
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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