She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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