Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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