I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i think my mom watched the whole time
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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