Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
