This house was built for laser tag.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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