New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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