his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
