It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
