you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
