sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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