I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
