i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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