this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
