Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
