Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
