Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Shame - the story of my life.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize