this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
he was CRYING into my vagina
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
