Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
