It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize