Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
