I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Vodka?
Forever.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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