He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
