you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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