I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
