Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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