I think I died a long time ago.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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