3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
