This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
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Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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