Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
