You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just invented taco cereal.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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