Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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