I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
True college students do jello shots in the library
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