I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
