Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
