That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
