This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
