I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
