One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
