do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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