Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
