im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
