Texts From Last Night

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  (716): View more from New York

  speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms

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  (716): speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms http://tfl.nu/8xzr
  Replies (9) Good night (4423) Bad night (523)
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  (925): View more from California

  At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.

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  (925): At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night. http://tfl.nu/1jxg
  Replies (9) Good night (4194) Bad night (1375)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.

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  (904): stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit. http://tfl.nu/ijlk
  Replies (5) Good night (1924) Bad night (533)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.

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  (804): he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself. http://tfl.nu/dcvq
  Replies (1) Good night (1065) Bad night (609)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...

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  (507): I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though... http://tfl.nu/ukj5
  Replies (5) Good night (1286) Bad night (430)
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  (310): View more from California

  Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.

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  (310): Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth. http://tfl.nu/zdvm
  Replies (5) Good night (1008) Bad night (520)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.

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  (832): god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink. http://tfl.nu/rrfd
  Replies (2) Good night (1153) Bad night (524)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud

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  (915): I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud http://tfl.nu/k3wa
  Replies (5) Good night (1119) Bad night (457)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.

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  (202): Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox. http://tfl.nu/f55t
  Replies (3) Good night (957) Bad night (635)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.

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  (+44): I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever. http://tfl.nu/7r8h
  Replies (2) Good night (936) Bad night (291)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?

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  (267): Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am? http://tfl.nu/20h1
  Replies (1) Good night (1137) Bad night (324)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.

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  (561): Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old. http://tfl.nu/6giy
  Replies (1) Good night (489) Bad night (265)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.

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  (540): A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be. http://tfl.nu/g1v3
  Replies (0) Good night (370) Bad night (217)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.

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  (703): I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is. http://tfl.nu/y1ce
  Replies (4) Good night (908) Bad night (265)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.

  (224): View more from Illinois

  That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.

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  (262): I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity. (224): That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard. http://tfl.nu/buw1
  Replies (3) Good night (588) Bad night (667)

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