she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
