the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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