I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
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He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
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Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper