Texts From Last Night

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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.

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  (907): I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it. http://tfl.nu/6xls
  Replies (38) Good night (8807) Bad night (1543)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Yes. For all mankind please do.

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  (512): The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her? (319): Yes. For all mankind please do. http://tfl.nu/4jly
  Replies (49) Good night (4957) Bad night (862)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.

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  (954): I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened. http://tfl.nu/wvm1
  Replies (38) Good night (3111) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?

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  (760): is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group? http://tfl.nu/g166
  Replies (14) Good night (2903) Bad night (1374)
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  (212): View more from New York

  1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.

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  (212): 1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square. http://tfl.nu/c9pr
  Replies (4) Good night (2557) Bad night (1101)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry

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  (804): Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry http://tfl.nu/mjn0
  Replies (5) Good night (1597) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.

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  (251): For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso. http://tfl.nu/t5dl
  Replies (2) Good night (1445) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.

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  (205): My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life. http://tfl.nu/opyw
  Replies (3) Good night (1090) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.

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  (360): Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass. http://tfl.nu/ehtn
  Replies (8) Good night (1920) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.

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  (207): I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here. http://tfl.nu/lv1x
  Replies (0) Good night (654) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place

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  (647): My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place http://tfl.nu/nehb
  Replies (3) Good night (559) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon

  (850): View more from Florida

  Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found

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  (561): I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon (850): Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found http://tfl.nu/d5sg
  Replies (4) Good night (973) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.

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  (647): He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing. http://tfl.nu/pwny
  Replies (6) Good night (978) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.

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  (678): If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks. http://tfl.nu/tgmi
  Replies (5) Good night (942) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.

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  (317): holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high. http://tfl.nu/1zkn
  Replies (0) Good night (306) Bad night (408)

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