I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
