Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
two words...techno handjob
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
