He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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