Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
