Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
