in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
