I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
whose ass print is on the piano?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
