had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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