My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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