You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
