Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
