It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
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fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
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Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize