Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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