i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
