...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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